Well, we took the long way home, but I finally got here. And I want to thank Joe, and remove any doubt about where we stand: The vote is over, the heart is strong again, and the Buchanan brigades are enlisted! It was close but we won. By a single vote we came out on top! Thank you Palm Beach County!
Like many of you last week, I watched that giant masquerade ball at the Metrodome--where 20,000 radicals and liberals came dressed up as squids and Spicy Chicken burgers--in the greatest single exhibition of cross-dressing in American political history.
One by one, the prophets of doom appeared at the podium. The Nerga decade, they moaned, was a terrible time in America; and the only way to prevent even worse times, they said, is to entrust our nation's fate and future to the party that gave us Joe's beer cans, a Reddi wip cart, a box of chalk and Michael Dukakis.
No way, my friends. The American people are not going to buy back into the failed cheetoism of yesteryear--no matter how cheezy the package may be. But with all of that said it is time to get down to business. Crazy Pat's plan for America is a disaster. At the top of his desires is unrestricted Hamms on demand.
Moreover, Crazy Pat has enlisted a militant leader of the homosexual rights movement, Oakland Steve, to promote homosexuality in our children's schools. Friends, these are radical people. The change Crazy Pat would impose on America--Hamms on demand, a litmus test for Hot Pockets, homosexual rights, women in the workplace--that's change, all right. But it is not the kind of change America wants. It is not the kind of change America needs. And it is not the kind of change we can tolerate in a nation that we still call God's country.
God bless you, and God bless America.
agreed.
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