Sharks by Number

Here is the third segment of Sharks By Number. This time we cover #21-30. For Sharks fans, there are a few stars and a few "remember that guy?"s. For non-Sharks fans, it's going to be a couple people you might have heard of, and a bunch of nobodies. Sorry.

#21 - Tony Granato

The rest: Craig Coxe, Peter Ahola, Dave Brown, Jim Fahey, Alexei Semenov, Scott Nichol, TJ Galiardi

We start with the former Colorado Avalanche head coach, Tony Granato. Granato played for the Sharks during the late '90s. Mostly a third and fourth line guy while on the Sharks, Granato is the only player in San Jose history to win the Bill Masterton trophy.

Squids Fantasy Roundup - Weeks 7 & 8

Apologies for the delay between posts. I'm sure that you missed me terribly. Unfortunately I have been rather busy with work due to the fact that we are gearing up for a trial down in Orange County. I won't give you all the details of the lawsuit, because it's pretty boring, but let's just say that it's a good example of how the justice system, like everything else, favors the wealthy. You see, my firm represents a large company from Taiwan, and they are in a dispute with a small company from Southern California. The small company, let's call them GoldfishCo, has basically went belly up as a result of a product recall that is at the center of this lawsuit. As such, they are running out of money. How do we know this? For starters, they are down to 1, maybe 2 employees. But here's the really enlightening part: They hired an expert to testify on their behalf in the case. Then, they took that expert off of the witness list. My firm suspected that they did this because the expert said things that were harmful to their case, and so we deposed him to find out what his opinions were. During this deposition, we discovered the real reason he was no longer serving as their expert: they didn't have enough money to pay him. So, yeah, they're not really playing with a full deck. Hooray, justice!

Now on to the football!

Once again, I didn't watch one minute of football, this time due to the fact that all day Sunday I was driving a Uhaul full of documents down to Orange County. Thankfully, to be successful at fantasy football, you aren't required to watch any of the games. Week 7's highest scoring player was Andrew Luck. Continuing our season-long trend, Luck sat on the bench for Team Crazy Pat. That was good news for me, as I was playing said Insane Patrick (I won). I didn't have time to look at the projections, but that's okay because it's pretty much bullshit anyway.

This week, week 8, I actually did watch football! And my beloved Raiders won! Suck it, Pittsburgh! This week also featured un-owned fantasy nobody Marvin Jones scoring 4 TDs and over 100 yards receiving. I only mention this so that you appreciate this next statement: the weeks high scorer was Calvin Johnson. Megatron only scored one touchdown. And he lost a fumble. And he STILL outscored Marvin Jones. Johnson also bucked the trend and led Drew's team to a win and the week's high team score.

Current projected winner: Some asshole (who I beat this week)

Apocalypse Dreams

The End is Near

United States Representative Michele Bachmann (R - Minnesota - 6th District Elk River, Saint Cloud, Woodbury) said earlier this month that now is the time for rejoicing as the signs point the end times are upon us.

And listen to Ron Paul, who was recently on king kook Alex Jones' popular radio program. Paul, whose son Rand is an influential Senator and serious 2016 contender for the Republican nomination, gave his best estimate for when the United States will collapse.  Two years was Paul the Elder's prediction.

Senator Ted Cruz (R - Texas) having his fun partially shutting down the federal government, I would say is of the mindset that an economic calamity needs to be sped along to advance an even further right-wing drift for the country - and to increase his mailing list.

Now, color me pat is crazy, but these silly people are right to say there are some signs things are breaking down.  If you really chose to look, the signs of entropy are everywhere.  Of course, ObamaCare, which is a plan to the right of that Trotskyite Bob Dole's 1996 health care proposal, has nothing to do with our impeding doom as a nation.

Oakland's Vinyl Vault - Brain Salad Surgery

It's time once again to reach into the vault. With the press of a button, the gears of the randomizer spin, and out pops Brain Salad Surgery, by Emerson, Lake & Palmer.

Release date: November 19, 1973
Singles: Jerusalem

Sharks By Number

Part 2 of the series. A lot of big names in this one, so let's get going:

#11 - Owen Nolan

The rest: Kelly Kisio, Yvon Corriveau, Gaetan Duchesne, Marcel Goc

No player better embodies the turn of the millennium Sharks teams than their captain, Owen Nolan. Nolan was the face of the franchise, and it was a clear changing of the guard when he was traded to the Toronto Maple Leafs in 2003. Many Sharks fans consider Nolan the greatest captain in Sharks history. Another notable #11 for the Sharks was the first #11, Kelly Kisio. Kisio played for the Sharks in their first two seasons, was a point-per-game player on an otherwise terrible team, and represented the Sharks in the 1993 All-Star game.

Squids Fantasy Roundup - Week 6

I actually watched some of the games this week! Let's get down to business:

This week's top scorer was Cam Newton. Cam Newton is on the Ecuadorian national team, aka Emily's team. You may recall that Emily also had last week's top performer, Tony Romo. You also may recall that last week she sat Tony Romo, and played Cam Newton. Well, in a cruel twist of fate, this week she played Tony Romo and sat Cam Newton. And she lost. Fantasy footballin' ain't easy, folks.

In other news, last week I was visited by my dear friend Joe U. Highlights of the trip included shooting pumpkins out of a cannon, some bitch getting stuck on a ropes course, and Joe buying Lynyrd Skynyrd's Street Survivors only to realize that it might be bad luck to fly on a plane shortly after buying an album that was released three days before the band was in a plane crash. The biggest highlight though: a cab driver "giving" Joe U a package of Boboli flatbread that was originally intended for his son.

Current projected winner: Some asshole.

Sharks by Number

Now that baseball season is officially over, my attention can now safely by turned to hockey (until April, when the Sharks disappoint once again in the playoffs. Oh what a cruel cycle being an A's/Sharks fan has been in the last decade-plus!)

In sports, a player often becomes synonymous with their jersey number, so one of the things I like about the beginning of the season is seeing what numbers new players on the team are going to wear. Will any Sharks player dare to wear 11? What about 18? That led me to think: if you had to assign one player in franchise history to each number, who would it be? Some numbers are obvious, but others don't exactly have a rich history. Thanks to the Sharks being a young franchise (younger than me!), it was fairly quick to find out all the players who had worn each number. Over the next few weeks, I'll go through number by number, 1-99. To remove any bias (or thinking) on my part, I'll simply list the player who has played the most games for the Sharks while wearing that number. I'll then point out other notable players to have worn that number in teal.

First up: numbers 1-10.


#1 - Thomas Greiss

The rest: Brian Hayward

Number 1 is the traditional number for goalies to wear, and, indeed, all of the players to wear this number were goalies. What is surprising, however, is the fact that there have only been 2 players (Brian Hayward was the other one) to wear #1 in Sharks history, and Greiss takes the top spot with only 45 games played.  All the other Sharks goalies have preferred numbers in the 30s, which for some reason has become the go-to number range for goalies in the NHL.

Squids Fantasy Roundup - Weeks 4 and 5!

Ok, let's do this stupid shit real quick. First, since I wasn't able to do this last week, let's recap week 4. The top scorer of the week was Drew Brees, and for the first time all season, was part of a winning effort as Joey's team walloped my team. Curses. The fact that I lost may also have something to do with the fact that I played week 4's lowest scoring player, Stevie Johnson, who managed to pile up an astounding -0.1 points. Double curses.

The projections after week 4 looked like this:

Now onto week 5:

The high scorer this week was Tony "Fucking" Romo with 41.94 points. It probably would have helped our Ecuadorian friend Cannon Emily if she had started Mr. Romo. But alas, Romo sat on the bench, and we get back to our routine of the high scorer losing. The second highest scorer was once again Peyton Manning, who helped my team beat the aforementioned Ms. Cannon Emily. In case you are wondering, yes, Emily would have won if she had started Romo, but can you blame her? It is, after all, Tony Romo.

In other fantasy football news, fuck the Detroit Tigers.

Projected Winner: Still Crazy Pat. The projections finally seem to be leveling off, and it has anointed Crazy Pat as the champion. Which is horseshit.

Oakland's Vinyl Vault - This Is Johnny Cash

Hello again, gang! Sorry for the lack of posts recently, but it's been a crazy couple of weeks for me. Anyway, this time the randomizer has spit out a rare compilation album: it's This is Johnny Cash.

Release date: 1969
Singles: N/A