Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Ice Squids Game 4 - Hello Cleveland!
Well, I felt bad for not posting the previous game's recap until today (ok, I didn't actually feel bad) so now I'm going to do the rare same-day recap! Huzzah!
This week's game was against the league leading Spiders, so we knew it was going to be a tough one. We hung tough for two periods, but an ugly third made the final score of the game 7-2. No goals scored by the Pat is Crazy line, aka the German Efficiency Line (or GEL).
The game was played at the Eden Prarie Community Center, and holy shit is that place big, and really, really nice. Walking through it to find the rink felt like this:
The highlight of the game:
As we were walking out of the building through the automatic doors, another man was walking into the building through the regular doors.
Joe (to the guy): "What are you drunk? This thing's free!"
Pat is crazy.
This week's game was against the league leading Spiders, so we knew it was going to be a tough one. We hung tough for two periods, but an ugly third made the final score of the game 7-2. No goals scored by the Pat is Crazy line, aka the German Efficiency Line (or GEL).
The game was played at the Eden Prarie Community Center, and holy shit is that place big, and really, really nice. Walking through it to find the rink felt like this:
The highlight of the game:
As we were walking out of the building through the automatic doors, another man was walking into the building through the regular doors.
Joe (to the guy): "What are you drunk? This thing's free!"
Pat is crazy.
Ice Squids Game 3 - Kissing Joe's Sister
Sorry for the lateness of this game recap, but I'm really lazy.
In last week's game, the Squids finally played some defense. However, the offensive struggles continued, and we were only able to manage a 1-1 tie despite a plethora of chances.
The lone goal for the Squids was another Pat Is Crazy special. In the middle of the second period, the PIC line jumped on the ice just as the puck was cleared out of the Squids' zone to center ice. I gathered the puck and took it into the offensive zone, creating a 3-1 opportunity. I drew the lone defender towards me and slid a pass to our center for this game, Galligan. He shot the puck, and, as he does best, Joe picked up the junk and deposited it in the back of the net.
The Squids controlled the puck for most of the game, and really should have walked away with the victory. The tie was disappointing, but still a hell of a lot better than a loss.
For those of you interested in coming to a game, here is our schedule.
Pat is crazy.
In last week's game, the Squids finally played some defense. However, the offensive struggles continued, and we were only able to manage a 1-1 tie despite a plethora of chances.
The lone goal for the Squids was another Pat Is Crazy special. In the middle of the second period, the PIC line jumped on the ice just as the puck was cleared out of the Squids' zone to center ice. I gathered the puck and took it into the offensive zone, creating a 3-1 opportunity. I drew the lone defender towards me and slid a pass to our center for this game, Galligan. He shot the puck, and, as he does best, Joe picked up the junk and deposited it in the back of the net.
The Squids controlled the puck for most of the game, and really should have walked away with the victory. The tie was disappointing, but still a hell of a lot better than a loss.
For those of you interested in coming to a game, here is our schedule.
Pat is crazy.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Fuck Harry Potter
I've never tried to hide it. I hate Harry Potter. And before you start with your whiny, "But you haven't read it! You don't know what you're talking about it!" bullshit, I have read Harry Potter. No, not all of them. I read the first four. That's over half the series.
And do you know WHY I read them?
Because I was in middle school, an appropriate age for reading Harry Potter.
And then I got older and realized that they weren't that good and I stopped reading them.
The reason I hate Harry Potter so much is because of the people my age that continued reading them and believe that they are good books. They are not good books. Harry Potter is the Jersey Shore of books. Entertaining? To some. Quality? God, no.
Pat likes Harry Potter. Pat is Crazy.
I hate you.
And do you know WHY I read them?
Because I was in middle school, an appropriate age for reading Harry Potter.
And then I got older and realized that they weren't that good and I stopped reading them.
The reason I hate Harry Potter so much is because of the people my age that continued reading them and believe that they are good books. They are not good books. Harry Potter is the Jersey Shore of books. Entertaining? To some. Quality? God, no.
Pat likes Harry Potter. Pat is Crazy.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Ice Squids Game 2 - Salary Cap Issues
As I'm sure you know, many teams are dangerously close to exceeding the salary cap, and the Ice Squids (0-2) are no exception. In order to stay under the cap, we had to play with a short bench - only 8 forwards and 4 defensemen - this week, and it definitely showed.
The Squids lost again, this time 7-2, to the hated Jets. No sign of Bennie, though.
The good news is, our own Joe U got in on one of the goals, threading a pass to our centerman, Peick, as he cut down the middle for a powerplay goal. Once again, no goals were scored against the Squids when I was on the ice (though Joe thinks he might have been on for one). Our captain, Ben "Kevin Wehrs" Cirillo, however, did not fare as well and was on the ice for 6 goals against. Ouch.
Pat is crazy.
The Squids lost again, this time 7-2, to the hated Jets. No sign of Bennie, though.
The good news is, our own Joe U got in on one of the goals, threading a pass to our centerman, Peick, as he cut down the middle for a powerplay goal. Once again, no goals were scored against the Squids when I was on the ice (though Joe thinks he might have been on for one). Our captain, Ben "Kevin Wehrs" Cirillo, however, did not fare as well and was on the ice for 6 goals against. Ouch.
Pat is crazy.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
California Counties in Order of Coolness
County (% Cool)
- San Francisco (65)
- Santa Cruz (64)
- Marin (62)
- Alpine (60)
- Mono (57)
- Alameda (55)
- Sonoma (55)
- San Mateo (52)
- Monterey (51)
- San Luis Obispo (51)
- Santa Barbara (51)
- Del Norte (50)
- Lake (49)
- Napa (49)
- Yolo (49)
- Contra Costa (49)
- Santa Clara (48)
- Los Angeles (47)
- San Benito (47)
- Mendocino (47)
- Humboldt (47)
- San Diego (47)
- Siskiyou (46)
- Solano (46)
- Mariposa (45)
- Plumas (45)
- Sierra (45)
- Ventura (45)
- Inyo (44)
- Nevada (43)
- Tuolumne (43)
- Calaveras (43)
- Lassen (42)
- Orange (42)
- Riverside (42)
- Modoc (42)
- Butte (42)
- San Bernardino (42)
- Sacramento (41)
- Amador (41)
- Trinity (40)
- El Dorado (40)
- Yuba (40)
- San Joaquin (39)
- Shasta (39)
- Merced (38)
- Stanislaus (37)
- Tehama (37)
- Placer (37)
- Fresno (36)
- Madera (36)
- Kern (36)
- Glenn (35)
- Sutter (35)
- Tulare (34)
- Kings (33)
- Imperial (32)
- Colusa (32)
Monday, November 1, 2010
Ice Squids Game 1 - Wasn't That Just a Warm-up?
Well, friends, the Ice Squids (aka Warriors) season has officially started! Our first game was this Saturday against the hated Sled Dogs, and unfortunately television coverage was blacked out locally since it was not a sell-out crowd so I'll have to just go on my memory of how the game went.
The Squids rolled 3 forward lines and 5 defensemen. The top line featured myself and Joe U on the wings. In the first period, the Squids really got their legs under them, were first to the puck, and won the battles down low. The only goal of the period was scored by our own Joe U. I controlled the puck behind the Sled Dog net, and somehow managed to get the puck to our centerman, Nate, in the slot. Nate's shot clanked off the crossbar, but Joe U, ever diligent, crashed the net and put in the rebound. He was rewarded by having a 200 lbs. Sled Dog sit on top of him for a couple minutes.
The second period was largely uneventful, as both teams looked rather tired, which was to be expected after a long off-season of drinking and, well, more drinking. The best scoring chance of the period came from yours truly, when I gathered up a rebound. I was all alone in front, and all I could think was, "Oh my god. Puck. I must shoot." And so I rushed the shot and did not get everything on it. For my efforts, I was rewarded by the AHA making sure that everybody knew that I did not have a goal:
The Squids rolled 3 forward lines and 5 defensemen. The top line featured myself and Joe U on the wings. In the first period, the Squids really got their legs under them, were first to the puck, and won the battles down low. The only goal of the period was scored by our own Joe U. I controlled the puck behind the Sled Dog net, and somehow managed to get the puck to our centerman, Nate, in the slot. Nate's shot clanked off the crossbar, but Joe U, ever diligent, crashed the net and put in the rebound. He was rewarded by having a 200 lbs. Sled Dog sit on top of him for a couple minutes.
The second period was largely uneventful, as both teams looked rather tired, which was to be expected after a long off-season of drinking and, well, more drinking. The best scoring chance of the period came from yours truly, when I gathered up a rebound. I was all alone in front, and all I could think was, "Oh my god. Puck. I must shoot." And so I rushed the shot and did not get everything on it. For my efforts, I was rewarded by the AHA making sure that everybody knew that I did not have a goal:
Screw you, AHA
Overall, it was a good start to the season. It took a couple shifts to get settled in, but as the game went on we definitely started playing together better. I'm excited to get back on the ice next week. Joe U got the only goal for the Squids, and our line ended up a +1, so I'm fairly happy with the result.
Oh, I should also probably mention that we also played another period (before the other two I covered above), which I'm pretty sure was just a warm-up, but for some weird reason it still counted in the box score.
Final score: Squids 1, Sled Dogs 5
Pat is crazy.
Overall, it was a good start to the season. It took a couple shifts to get settled in, but as the game went on we definitely started playing together better. I'm excited to get back on the ice next week. Joe U got the only goal for the Squids, and our line ended up a +1, so I'm fairly happy with the result.
Oh, I should also probably mention that we also played another period (before the other two I covered above), which I'm pretty sure was just a warm-up, but for some weird reason it still counted in the box score.
Final score: Squids 1, Sled Dogs 5
Pat is crazy.
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