Thursday, August 29, 2013

Live* Blog: 1998 NFC Championship Game

*Thanks, YouTube and a blatant disregard for fair use laws.

We all have a most heartbreaking moment growing up, and if you were a Vikings fan this was that moment. This was the year of Randy Moss, Cris Carter, and former retiree Randall Cunningham. The word juggernaut is overused today, but this team was the biggest juggernaut in NFL history. The went 15-1 with their only loss coming to the Buccaneers in a 27-24 nailbiter in Tampa. This was a Buccaneers team they beat 31-7 earlier in the year. The Vikes rode the explosive tandem of retired veteran Cunningham and pothead rookie Randy Moss, who only fell to the Vikings at 21st in the draft due to "behavioral problems" in college. Cunningham tossed 37 touchdowns that year, Moss caught half of those, and Robert Smith even had a nice 1,000 yard season. This team took the town by storm, the local top 40 station even butchered popular Will Smith hit "Miami" in support of the Purple and Gold.



But you probably know the story, they trounced the Cardinals in the divisional round and met the Falcons in Minneapolis. So, put a Heggie's in the oven, grab a Nordeast and let's watch the 1998 NFC Championship game!

*Note: I highly suggest you watch the first half of the game with the YouTube video that is divided into sections. You will see commercials from 1998 that seem completely out of place for this time.

"...One final step towards Super Bowl XXXIII" - Pat Summerall

Just let that voice set in for a moment...

So, they start with an enthralling prelude by FOX Sports here, as they ask us which team will have more fire in their eyes they set the eyes of John Randle on fire(in the video). This fades into "Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel, which just gets me all riled up for some football!



This is a Summerall-Madden commentator pairing calling this game. This is going to be full of useful insights from Summerall and hours of jabbering by the freight train that is Madden. After some incoherent rambling, he gets to a point relevant to this game, the keys of the game for each team to win. And he says the same exact thing for both squads: "They will have to run the ball, stop the run, and control the ball." What can you even say in response to this?



And we get some of those sweet commercials. At Burger King you can get 2 tasty cheeseburgers and 2 orders of fries for only $2.22, AND they still have the old "burger in bun" Burger King logo. 1998 never tasted so good.

Out for the coin flip now, the Falcons get to call the toss and Jesse Tuggle holds up a sign that reads "HEADS". This is a reference to an earlier game on Thanksgiving when Jerome Bettis called tails in the air. and the referee said the call was heads. That call ended in disaster for the overtime flip in a heated game on national TV. The Falcons probably made the right choice to clarify.

15:00 1st - Let's watch some footbawwwwwww!

The Falcons start off with the ball and slowly trudge down the field and pick up every damn 3rd down conversion. Madden keeps talking and talking and talking. There will be a Maddenisms section at the end. There will be too many good ones to pepper in throughout the live* blog. With that said, Pat Summerall is the best in the business because he finds a way to still deliver the important information in the game around Madden's stories. The Falcons find a way to convert on 3rd down again, this time on a TD pass from Chandler to Anderson. Anderson goes into the famed Dirty Bird, which wasn't really that cool. It's just everyone flapping their arms around.  As we go to commercial, the cameramen grab a great angle of Chris Chandler's bald spot.



More commercials, this game is worth watching just to see the commercials.

8:21 1st: After a long first possession by the Falcons, we come back and Madden and Summerall lead in by pandering the local host audience talking about how they can respect the Minnesotans for enjoying the cold and snow. We love you for it!

So many faces you remember again: Cunningham, Smith, Moss, Carter, Korey Stringer (respect), Jake Reed,  Randall McDaniel, Matthew Hatchette... The Vikings unleash their strategy early: toss it deep to Moss and he'll either catch it or draw a penalty. After a quick Interference penalty, they get the ball at the Falcon's 30. Another quick toss to Moss and the Vikes tie it up at 7 as Moss exhibits exquisite footwork at the end line. Madden proceeds to play with his telestrator to show how the feet got down.

5:21 1st: We see our first injury of the game Vikings defender, Ed McDaniel. This was caused by a fluke bounce of the foot off the Metrodome turf. This play just reminds us all how bad the Metrodome is at hosting any sporting event. As terrible a host as it was for every sporting event, it will be a little sad to see it torn down.

The Falcons proceed to march down into Vikings territory only to be stymied by Harold Green tripping over his own legs and fumbling the ball. The Vikings recover and Madden goes on and on about the ground not being able to cause a fumble. Green was never touched, so of course he isn't down when he hits the ground. Madden comes back from the commercial and continues to tell us all about how the ground can't cause a fumble. Summerall is clearly tired of it and shortly proclaims: "Well, it is. And the Vikings have the ball!" is his best crotchety old man voice.  He is just a bit scared of directly correcting Madden on this one.

9:50 2nd: We get our first appearance by Gary Anderson and his one-bar helmet. This man made every field goal he attempted this season. The Vikings would be lucky to have the game fall on his shoulders. He makes this one easy, to put the Vikings up 10-7. The Falcons take the kick and proceed to fumble another one into the hands of the Vikings, this time on their own 30. They waste little time and capitalize on a QB sneak as Randall Cunningham leaps over the pile, making it 17-7.

Madden goes back to the fumble caused by the ground. It was explained to him that the ball carrier was never downed so the ground jarring the ball loose just turned it into a very poor lateral. Good lord, I'm glad we're all back up to speed.

As we wind down the first half, Gary Anderson boots another field goal and the Falcons score a TD on an untimely Vikings fumble and we wind up 20-17. We see Anderson and Berger warming up their legs into the practice net on the Vikings last drive of the half. It's almost like they are setting the stage for an epic moment this whole time.

Halftime: So far, the Vikings seem to have solid control over the momentum of this game. The Falcons had quick strikes at the beginning of the half and off a turnover at the end of the half. Even though they were aided by the recovery of two turnovers of their own, the Vikings have just been shoving the ball down the Falcons throat. The Vikings could still win this game 400-24.

Obligatory 3rd quarter comment: These hats that were "cool" in the 1990's did not stand the test of time. I hope vintage trends just skip this entirely.



15:00 4th: Almost nothing of note has happened in the third, but the Vikings are driving with the same 20-17 lead they held at the half. About a minute into the 4th, Cunningham finds Matthew Hatchette in the end zone to put the Vikings up 27-17. This is just Minnesota's game to lose at this point.

12:36 4th: The Falcons show signs of life with a lightning in a bottle play from Chandler to Moore on a deep route down to the Vikings 10 yard line. The Falcons settle for a field goal, but they have a pulse. The Falcons get a quick stop and the ball back at the 50. When you think about it, everybody in Minnesota knew they were going to blow this game. This team was far too good to provide anything other than utter heartbreak.

8:55 4th: Falcons have a quick possession and are forced to punt. The punt lands at about the 1 and is then bobbled around by about 14 Falcons before falling into the end zone for a touchback. Before you know it, Cunningham and center Jeff Christy botch the snap and the Falcons have the ball at the Vikings 30, down 7.

7:23 4th: The Falcons run the reverse to Tim Dwight for at least the third time today, producing similar results as the previous attempts. I've never understood the reverse that well. Yes, it works *sometimes* but you cede about 15 yards to set it up and the defenders in today's NFL aren't the refrigerator deliverymen of yesteryear. They have the ability to catch up to the speedy white guy.

6:11 4th: 4th and 4 at the 30 and the Falcons go for it. Everybody and their mother questions the decision and they proceed to turn the ball over to the Vikings. It would have been the prudent decision to take the field goal try, take the points Dan.

4:32 4th Mike Tice reference. This man would later resort to such extremes like scalping tickets to the Super Bowl to void his contract and free himself of the Vikings organization.



3:43 4th: Atlanta calls timeout on a Minnesota 3rd and 1 at the Atlanta 28, already looking to save some clock for their next possession. Before the snap, Dan Reeves runs on to the field and tries to call a second consecutive timeout. It turns out you can't call consecutive timeouts between snaps. The play is halted, but quizzically no penalty is called for the coach running onto the field. The Vikings proceed to pick up the first down.

2:29 4th: The camera finds noted ear-biting victim Evander Holyfield which entices John Madden to go into a long tirade about warriors and Art Shell. It was difficult to follow.

2:11 4th: This is the one moment you remember from this game. This is the kick that would seal it up for the Vikings to put them up 2 scores with 2 minutes to play. You know it will be a big kick when they show the graphic with the kicker, holder, and snapper listed out. Gary Anderson, the man who was perfect all season, hadn't missed a kick since 1997, stepped up with a chip shot to all but clinch the game for Minnesota. Madden and Summerall had the call:

Summerall - "Anderson hasn't missed  in two years"
Madden - "That's a pretty good bet that if you think Anderson would make this field goal (ball snap), that answer would probably (kick) be yes."
Summerall - "39 yards away and it's not good!"



 1:45 4th: The Falcons have quickly moved down to the Vikings 30 with plenty of time to tie this one up. Madden shows the audience how the Falcons are tearing apart the zone defense right now with his magic yellow marker. This was a rare moment of usefulness from Madden as any Vikings fan from the era would tell you just how awful the Vikings zone defense was. It was atrocious.

0:57 4th: Robert Griffith almost tracks down a tipped ball in the end zone. This was the second near-pick for the Vikings this drive. I'm not saying that everything had to go right for the Falcons in this game, but everything definitely went wrong for the Vikings when it counted. On the very next play, the Falcons put it in the end zone to effectively tie the game. There was a lot of forced drama on the extra point as Morten Andersen made the kick, but had to re-kick after an encroachment penalty. After the penalty, Andersen asked to change the football out for the kick. The decision proves to pay off and as all extra points do, this one split the uprights.

0:49 4th: This is where Denny Green famously calls the kneel out into overtime. After watching this again, I have no idea why fans question the play calling here. They take two shots down the field and almost get a strike to Moss deep in Falcons territory. You can't take another shot and stop the clock for the Falcons with a fresh set of downs and 25 seconds left to work with. The knee was the right decision but the audience roundly booed Green and the Vikings as time ran out in regulation.

Oooooooooovertiiiiiiiiiime!:

15:00 OT: Vikings win the toss and rightfully go berserk. There has to be a better way to handle the overtime in the NFL. Winning the toss is such a gross advantage to place on a coin flip. I can understand determining the winner of an all star game by coin flip, but not overtime possession of an NFL Championship!

14:10 OT: Lineman David Dixon gets his chance to try his hand at running back as he picks up a Randall Cunningham fumble, he appears to fumble at the conclusion of the play, but luckily the ground caused this fumble and he was ruled down by contact which gives Madden another chance to discuss the rules about the ground causing a fumble. Dixon's tryout at RB may not have wowed the coaches, but it's always fun to watch a big guy rumble down the field with the ball.

9:57 OT: Whenever I look at Chris Chandler's head I think to myself "Man, I hope I bald from the front and not the back, or even better not at all!" This overtime doesn't have a lot of notable football action so far. The Falcons get flagged for an illegal formation on a punt for not having enough players on the line of scrimmage. John Madden proceeds to dissect this one with his magic markers on the telestrator. He counts the players on the line for us multiple times from multiple angles and we all reach the same conclusion every time. Thank goodness for that telestrator.

8:38 OT: Here's a deep shot from Cunningham to Moss and Eugene Robinson barely makes it back for coverage. That one looked like 6 until the last second too... Vikings punt, Falcons ball deep inside their own territory.

6:30 OT: Jamal Anderson, who has had a quiet day outside of the touchdown grab, pushes the Falcons across midfield. Mathis snags a pass from Chandler for another first. Chandler scrambles to the 30. Anderson carries again, this time down to the 23. By this time, you know what's going to happen. The crowd absolutely dies between plays, gathering their voices for each snap, but they know, they know.

3:15 OT: Morten Anderson steps onto the field and we all know this one is going to split the uprights. From 39 yards out, Morten Anderson wins this one for the Atlanta Falcons, 30-27.

I would write a game summary here, but this was already so much more than I planned to write about this game. There were a few fun references that we all probably forgot about: Bettis calls "tails", that stupid Dirty Bird, the Moss-Carter-Reed triple threat., and the battle of the Anderso(e)ns. There is likely another, much deeper story about the epic battle between veteran kickers and lifetime rivals Morten Andersen and Gary Anderson, but I'm sure that story has been written elsewhere.



Before we leave today, let's review some of the more memorable quotes from John Madden from the game:

(as the kickoff ensues) " This is what it's all about right here, woo!"

"(Unintelligible).. oh gah ah! Don't be so stupid! ...(unitelligible)"

"Look at Tuggle here, BOOM! MMMM WHACK! Now here's Steussie, BOOM!"

"You know who's doing a good job in Minnesota? Mike Tice. He's got a sign in his office that says: Asking a stupid question is better than fixing a stupid mistake."

"People say you can't, but I'll guarantee you that you can smell a Super Bowl!"

"Overtime means true sudden death, they play until someone wins the game, when you get to a championship game there are no ties."

"Here's where field position is so important: The Vikings don't want the Falcons to advance the ball further, but the Falcons want to drive the ball down the field."

Join us next week at Patiscrazy when we watch the 2005 Gophers-Badgers fiasco!


Monday, August 26, 2013

Squids Fantasy Roundup - The Draft

It's almost fall, and you know what that means: it's fantasy football season! (I am being told that it coincides with real-life football season). And since we here at Pat Is Crazy have our thumb on the pulse* of everything that is cool, we have our own fantasy league! But, since we're not very popular, it only has 8 members. Should make for some high scoring games!

*It sounds strangely like my own pulse. Guess I'm, like, da bomb!

This weekend was our draft. I probably should have written that down, because I forgot all about it. Luckily, a good samaritan (whose name I substitute in for "you" in all songs), reminded me about it, and I got there with only half of my team drafted already!

Now, I won't rehash the draft here, or attempt to grade it, or anything silly like that, because Yahoo! is way ahead of me. This year, they've got these fancy auto-produced recaps of the draft (they had them last year for all the games, but I don't recall them having one for the draft) that grades how everyone did. Of course, it's a little stupid, because it is all based on their projections, which is also what their rankings are based on, so basically it will give you a good grade if you autodraft. Unless your name is Landon, I guess.

I only read my own review, because I only care about myself. My favorite line:

"The GM of Don'tMessWithSebas must have had to leave their draft party early. After tallying the most projected points in the league over the draft's first half, they racked up the fewest during the second half." 

You'll recall that I in fact skipped the first half, and showed up for the second. D'oh.

Current Projected Winner: Resident Drunk

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Oakland's Vinyl Vault - Bridge Over Troubled Water

The randomizer is at it again. Sometimes, you just have to give it what it wants. And what it wants this week: Bridge Over Troubled Water, by Simon and Garfunkel.


Release date: January 26, 1970
Singles: The Boxer, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Cecilia, El Condor Pasa (If I Could)

Monday, August 19, 2013

The Problem with Daily Kos

I've really tried to like Daily Kos. But I just can't do it. And here's why:

It's too unprofessional.

I just can't take it seriously. And that's unfortunate, because I feel like as the largest and most well known progressive blog on the internet, it has a responsibility to represent the progressive movement in a positive light. But when it refers to the "tea-party" members as "teabaggers" (because haha, they like putting balls in their mouths), takes cheap pot-shots at conservatives, and substitutes the Republican Party logo for this:


it lowers the level of credibility of the site. It makes Daily Kos look no better or more trustworthy than any of the nutjob right-wing blogs out there making up stories about how Obama is putting together death panels to kill your grandma. And frankly, as the leading progressive blog on the internet, it makes all progressives look bad.

If ESPN routinely referred to Alex Rodriguez as "A-Roid" or "A-Fraud" (so original!), would you take it seriously as a source for sports news? I sure wouldn't.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Oakland's Vinyl Vault - Tommy

Today we head to the opera! Don't worry if you don't have any ornate, gilded binoculars-on-a-stick, because they won't be needed for this opera. You see, this is a rock opera. In fact, it is the first rock opera ever made! It's Tommy, by the Who.


Release date: May 23, 1969
Singles: Pinball Wizard; Go to the Mirror!; I'm Free; Christmas; See Me, Feel Me

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

A Quick Link

Today, over at Deadspin, they have a story about a woman who got drunk at the Royals/Twins game and went into the fountains beyond the outfield fence.

Any guesses where this lovely lady is from?

Iowa. What the fuck is wrong with people from Iowa?

I'm assuming she was having anonymous sex with a fellow Iowan in the bathroom right before heading into the fountain.