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The lovely people at Fox have recently alerted me via a public service announcement about three very dangerous things:



1. House parties. There's alcohol involved, and alcohol is evil. Don't go.



2. Sex. Don't have it. Girls have cooties, and cooties are bad.



3. Mirrors. For the love of all that is holy, do not look in them. Mirrors are known to be portals into other dimensions, evil dimensions. Everytime you look into a mirror, your evil counterpart in the evil mirror world takes more and more control over you. Before you know it, you will be going to wild house parties and having sex every night.

As long as you do not drink alcohol, have sex, or look into mirrors, you should be safe. I advise you to destroy all mirrors and bottles of alcohol, and avoid looking directly at any persons of the opposite sex. Pat is crazy.