The Future, Oakland?

With the end of the decade, a lot of people were doing "Top Ten" lists about the top ten whatevers of the past decade. Well, here at Pat is Crazy, we do things a little differently* We're going to do a Top Ten list of the top ten things we're looking forward to in the next decade.

*This claim is totally unsubstantiated.

Of course, predicting the future is hard. Luckily, other people have already done it for us! With that, here is my list for the top ten news stories of the coming decade:

10. Robots

The question isn't when robots will be commonplace in society. The question is when they'll turn against us.

9. Flying cars, hover boards, etc.

If there is one movie that I trust to accurately predict the future it is Back to the Future (part II). And there are a lot of awesome new technologies that should come about in the next 5 years (you'll remember, of course, that Doc and Marty traveled to the year 2015). Although, I'm not too crazy about the direction that fashion is heading.

8. Clones

If it weren't already confusing enough with all these robots and flying cars running around, things should really get messy when people start cloning themselves. Which one is the original Oakland? Does it even matter, since they're both assholes anyway?

7. The combination of the Justice system and reality TV

One of my favorite movies*, The Running Man, predicts this glorious marriage between the U.S. legal system and prime time programming. Hey, it will still be better than any of the shit they have on NBC right now.

*I am required, as a resident of California, to refer to all Arnold Schwarzenegger** movies as "one of my favorite movies."

**I did not know how to spell "Schwarzenegger," but for some reason it was already in the dictionary tool thing in the blogger. Weird.

6. Aliens come to Earth

While there have been films predicting that aliens will come to Earth almost every decade, I've got a good feeling that it will actually happen in the 2010s. Or maybe it has already happened and the damn government is just covering it up.

5. Huge advances in space travel

If aliens won't come to us, dagnabbit we'll go to them!

4. Vampires take over the world

Oh wait, this already happened. Damned Twilight.

3. Kevin Costner justs walks around for, like, 12 hours

Dear god, let's hope this doesn't actually happen.

2. The Oakland A's will win the World Series 10 times in a row

Ok, so maybe this won't happen. But they will at least get a new stadium. Well, actually, winning the World Series 10 times in a row might be more likely.

1. The end of the world

The end of the world in 2012 really makes most of this list pointless*. Damn Mayans. Oh well. Pat is crazy.

*Actually, the fact that nobody reads this blog makes this list pointless. Which explains why I didn't put a lot of effort into it.