Need To Lose Weight?

Yesterday I was going through some old stuff in my room here in Oakland, and I came across a persuasive speech that my friend wrote for an assignment sophomore year of high school. His topic for the speech was anorexia. His position: pro. I think he makes some valid points. Enjoy, but remember that we here at Pat is Crazy do not necessarily endorse the viewpoints of the following short essay:

Anorexics are often labeled as having a disease. In a society concerned with personal physical perfection, such successfully beautiful people are envied with a fierce jealousy that borders on animosity; the result of such jealous hatred is the alienation and vilifying of what we know as, for lack of a better term, anorexics. Anorexia is not leprosy, rather it is a healthy way of life that is far preferable to the alternative: obesity. It is immoral and a sure sign of ignorance to claim anorexics are unwell.
Anorexia is often ignorantly called a disease. In fact, anorexia merely describes a person who chooses only to reduce meal portions and skip extraneous meals that are nothing but a source of excess calories. It is safer, less invasive, and more cost efficient than liposuction, offers less risk of cancer than diet pills, and is easier to maintain than fashion diets. To ignore anorexia as a healthy, effective tool in weight control is ludicrous.
Obesity is defined as owing 30% or more of a person's body weight to fat. One third of Americans are obese. This accounts for 58 million people. Of these 58 million, 300,000 will die outright from excess weight and inability to perform visceral functions. Their fat will overwhelm their bodies. Of the remaining 57.7 million, 50 million of these people will suffer from high blood pressure, and 40 million will have some form of heart disease. In women, 15 million obese cases will have breast cancer, seeing that half of all breast cancer patients are obese. All told, only 4.6% of the obese population will not have health complications. In America, a mere 1500 people die of uncontrolled anorexia. In the face of such stark statistical contrasts, we are forced to conclude that anorexia is a safer, healthier alternative to the unattractive, cancerous dangers of obesity than invasive surgery offered by liposuction or untested medicinal solutions.
As America approaches a state of total equality, we must remember that even the best and worst of us are but mortals, and that nobody in society, regardless of physical perfection, should ever be shamed for their healthful lifestyle. So the next time you see a beautiful, slender anorexic, don't hate them. Instead offer them your support and encouragement, and maybe they will in turn help you onto the road to anorexia.

Pat is crazy.