An Amazing True Story

Recently, I watched the movie "Bourne Ultimatum." During this movie, one of the characters dejectedly announces, "You can't make this stuff up." This reminded me that I hate all movies in which a character says something like that, because clearly you can make that stuff up. It isn't even hard. On another note here is a completely true story* that you couldn't make up about what Pat did between semesters:

One day, Pat decided to go to the top of 225 South Sixth, aka the Stanley Cup Building.



A strong gust of wind knocked him off of the top of the building. Luckily Pat was wearing a pair of baggy pants, and he was able to take them off and create a make-shift parachute out of them.


Pat managed to float gently down and land on the light rail, which took him to the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport. Once there, he managed to sneak on to a plane heading for New Hampshire.



Once in New Hampshire, Pat voted for Ron Paul in the primary 20 times despite not being a resident of New Hampshire or a registered voter. After voting, Pat had an epiphany. Pat thought of a fool-proof plan to wipe out global terrorism simply using the principles of mechanical engineering. Pat quickly ran to Washington, D.C. where he forced a meeting with the President in the Pentagon's War Room. Unfortunately, just before he announced his plan for peace on Earth, he got into a fight with one of the officers over the deliciousness of roast beef sandwiches.



So Pat got kicked out of the War Room. Pat then stole a tank and drove it back to Minneapolis where he sold it for parts.



The End. Pat is Crazy.

*This story may be completely made-up. But really, who could make this stuff up?

Crazy Pat Is Amazing

http://tinyurl.com/27bmg9

That's the skeel.

Diebold Pat

The Department of Homeland Security has posted several alerts warning about Crazy Pat's propensity for nurga destruction. The terror threat level is RED. Pat will steal the election. Pat is crazy.

Behind the Scenes at the NH Debate

Red State Update obtained the audio of what the Democrats and Republicans said when they were together at last Saturday's ABC News/Facebook debate. Check it out:



Senators Obama and McCain both have won in Dixville Notch and Hart's Location. Pat is crazy.

American Gladiators

In case you somehow did not know, the best show ever made recently returned to television. No, I'm not talking about Cheap Seats without Ron Parker, I'm referring to American Gladiators. Last night's premiere was a veritable thrill ride of emotions: from eager anticipation of the beginning of the show, to disappointment at how ridiculously large the Powerball goals were, to laughter at how that one chick hurt herself trying to run, to rage when the contenders were too tired to make it up the last step of the treadmill, and then back to eager anticipation of the next new episode tonight.

Before we go, let's take a look back at this classic moment from the original American Gladiators. We can only hope that the new one will bring us more of these priceless moments. Pat is crazy. Sweet.

Best Posts of December

And the nominees are...

Best Original Post of December:
Happy New Year!
Hypocrisy
Medical Alert

Best Variety/Video Post of December:
Google Ron Paul
Pat is a Flag Snatcher
Pat's New Mentor

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Best Posts of November Winners:
Original Post-Pat's former job
Variety Post- Tobor!

Guitar Hero

Does anybody else think that "Guitar Hero" is an extremely overrated game? It seems to me that "Guitar Hero" (and its counterpart "Rock Band") is just the same thing as DDR, except for people who think that they are cool. Newsflash: You're not cool. Live with it. Anyway, here's a video. Enjoy. Pat is crazy.



*Edith Bunker is a character from "All in the Family"