Bracketology

In preparation for March Madness, I have decided to do a bracket for a much easier tournament to predict: the Olympic Men's Ice Hockey tournament! Here are my picks, with some analysis below:



It would be a major upset if any of the top seeds lost in the qualification round, so the quarterfinals is where this tournament really gets interesting. The U.S. game could be a bit of a trap game as the U.S. is coming off of an emotional win against Canada, and the Swiss goalie, Jonas Hiller, is capable of stealing a game for Switzerland. The U.S. has already beat the Swiss 3-1 in group play, and I don't see the Swiss being a problem. The Czech Republic v. Finland game should be the second most interesting game of the quarterfinals. Both teams have great goaltending in Vokoun and Kiprusoff, as well as some great scoring threats. I think the Finns are slightly better, though, and will win. Sweden should beat Slovakia easily. The marquee match-up is of course Russia v. Canada. A lot of people (Canadians) will tell you that the U.S. beating Canada was not a big deal because it happened in the prelims, but this game is why it was a HUGE deal. Many people thought that Canada and Russia would be walking away with Silver and Gold hanging around their necks, but instead one of these two powerhouses will have to go (or stay) home with nothing. This game is a must watch. It's a huge rivalry already, and add to that the Crosby v. Ovechkin element, and both teams are under huge pressure from their native countries to win the Gold. I think that Canada will have Luongo in net, and the Vancouver Canuck netminder will limit Russia's potent offense and win this one for Canada.

The semifinals are a lot tougher to call. The Americans will have a tough game against Finland, but will continue to ride Ryan Miller to the gold medal game. Coming off a huge win over Russia, Canada will have a let down as the Sedin twins put multiple pucks past their Vancouver Canucks teammate, Luongo, causing Canucks fans to become so angry with them that the organization will trade them to the San Jose Sharks (please, please, please!).

In the bronze medal game, Canada will be motivated to walk away with at least some medal, even if it is not the color they would have liked, and the Finns will be finished (see what I did there?). Finally, in the gold medal game I am predicting that the U.S. will win it's first gold medal away from home (although about as close to home as you can get.)

Shaun White is a Better Snowboarder Than God

As you probably know, Shaun White is the best snowboarder in the world. And it's not even close. But what I think a lot of people don't realize is that the reason he is better than everyone else is that he is the only one right now who is willing to go as big as possible. As I was watching the Olympics last night I noticed that Shaun White was the only one who began his run by both starting from the very top of the hill (as opposed to plowing down a little way before starting towards the half-pipe) AND not speed checking before entering the pipe. Everyone else was afraid to go into that monstrous pipe at full speed. Shaun White was not. And that is why he went higher and scored higher than everyone else. (I may try to find some video later to back this up)

Wearing a Tie to Work, or: Why I Love Being an Engineer

Last Friday, I wore a tie to work. I was not required to wear a tie because I am an engineer, and engineers don't wear ties. I did it as a joke. People actually asked me, "Why are you dressed up?" My husband* would probably cry if he heard about this. He works as an investment banker. He has to wear a suit to work everyday. I barely have to wear a collared shirt. Man, I love being an engineer.

*By the power invested in Facebook

Pat Fell for the Trap

I heard something about Crazy Pat today that I thought I would share (with nobody). Pat thought it was faster to take Highway 55 aka Hiawatha aka The Trap to get from Woodbury to the Metrodome than to take the more traditional route, I-94. Let's take a look at the map. First, the easy way, taking I-94:


As you can see, it's pretty much a straight shot. 18.1 miles in an estimated 21 minutes to get there. Now let's see Crazy Pat's route:



It's 21.9 miles. Not a huge difference, but a little bit more. But here's what makes it crazy: 55 has stop lights on it! That's why it's called the Trap! It looks like it should be faster, but it never ends up actually turning out that way. The estimated time is 35 minutes, about 150% of the much easier route. Pat is crazy.

Pat's New Job

Pat has had a lot of jobs. Now that he's out in California, he's become the mascot for the LA Kings. Here is his first promo:



That was disturbing. Pat is crazy.

The Future, Oakland?

With the end of the decade, a lot of people were doing "Top Ten" lists about the top ten whatevers of the past decade. Well, here at Pat is Crazy, we do things a little differently* We're going to do a Top Ten list of the top ten things we're looking forward to in the next decade.

*This claim is totally unsubstantiated.

Of course, predicting the future is hard. Luckily, other people have already done it for us! With that, here is my list for the top ten news stories of the coming decade:

10. Robots

The question isn't when robots will be commonplace in society. The question is when they'll turn against us.

9. Flying cars, hover boards, etc.

If there is one movie that I trust to accurately predict the future it is Back to the Future (part II). And there are a lot of awesome new technologies that should come about in the next 5 years (you'll remember, of course, that Doc and Marty traveled to the year 2015). Although, I'm not too crazy about the direction that fashion is heading.

8. Clones

If it weren't already confusing enough with all these robots and flying cars running around, things should really get messy when people start cloning themselves. Which one is the original Oakland? Does it even matter, since they're both assholes anyway?

7. The combination of the Justice system and reality TV

One of my favorite movies*, The Running Man, predicts this glorious marriage between the U.S. legal system and prime time programming. Hey, it will still be better than any of the shit they have on NBC right now.

*I am required, as a resident of California, to refer to all Arnold Schwarzenegger** movies as "one of my favorite movies."

**I did not know how to spell "Schwarzenegger," but for some reason it was already in the dictionary tool thing in the blogger. Weird.

6. Aliens come to Earth

While there have been films predicting that aliens will come to Earth almost every decade, I've got a good feeling that it will actually happen in the 2010s. Or maybe it has already happened and the damn government is just covering it up.

5. Huge advances in space travel

If aliens won't come to us, dagnabbit we'll go to them!

4. Vampires take over the world

Oh wait, this already happened. Damned Twilight.

3. Kevin Costner justs walks around for, like, 12 hours

Dear god, let's hope this doesn't actually happen.

2. The Oakland A's will win the World Series 10 times in a row

Ok, so maybe this won't happen. But they will at least get a new stadium. Well, actually, winning the World Series 10 times in a row might be more likely.

1. The end of the world

The end of the world in 2012 really makes most of this list pointless*. Damn Mayans. Oh well. Pat is crazy.

*Actually, the fact that nobody reads this blog makes this list pointless. Which explains why I didn't put a lot of effort into it.

A Quick Joke

Here's a quick joke for all those people here in Minnesota who are feeling a little down right now:

Man 1: [gasping for air and grabbing at his throat]

Man 2: Oh my god, are you ok?

Man 1: Yeah, I'm fine. I was just doing my Minnesota Vikings impression!

Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha! Pat is Crazy.